The Big Pope Vote

No, I’m kidding you can’t vote for him.  But Big Jo Ratzinger (shown here in his youth) has stepped down in his role pope-benedict-nazi-salute1 sanfranciscosentinel comas His Popiest highness Pope Benedict XVI and a gang of potential new Popes are vying for the position at the end of the month.  Around 117 Cardinals are going to meet in the Sistine Chapel to cast votes for about two or three days to see who should get the job.  Unlike meetings at HMVs head office these guys can’t tweet during the process so the world will wait with bated breath for the results to be announced.  Big Jo, now 85, will not be taking part.  Here’s some of the great candidates who may be taking the top job of telling 1.2 billion Catholics Worldwide what they should and shouldn’t be doing, because of wot God told ‘im!!

CardinalouelletMarc Ouellet – Canadian – generally thought of as a top bloke, he’s pretty anti-abortion but he says he’s sorry for the Church’s pretty dumb treatment of Jews, Gays and women in the past.



Peter Turkson – Ghanaian – A jolly chap with a big friendly smile, although he thinks f6e623665e6eaa1f08e975e0eea6db3dcondoms are worse than Hitler.



Francis Arinze – Nigerian – This old boy (81) was a refugee in the Biafran war in Nigeria and he helped manage the refugee relief movement.  He’s also big on staying friends with the Muslims, which Turkson above isn’t very good at, but he’s homophobic and thinks arinze1condoms actually caused Aids big time.



Wilfred Fox Napier – South African – Social Reformer who spoke out against apartheid South Africa in the CardinalNapier80s, although he is pretty hardcore on the old issues of abortion and condoms which he thinks actually kill people who explode when they put one on.



Angelo Scola – Italy – Italian favourite with lots of imgAngelo Scola2super-Catholic credits to his name.



A top set of blokes, who would you choose?  As in 2005 the whispering in the brothels of Rome is all about the fact we might have the first black Pope!


I’m sure all the people in interwebs world will be watching with trepidation. As it is, whether black or white he’ll still be Catholic, so none of them get my vote.  And it isn’t looking good for the Aids situation in Africa as most of these fellas think condoms are not the answer.  The focus does seem to be on Africa and the developing world for many of the contended issues, since the developing world with its lack of education and scientific knowledge still thinks the Catholic Church is A-okay.  Here in Europe however only Jimmy Saville is entertained by the bad things these blokes get up to.  My favourite quote from a pope is from Innocent III who said; “Anyone who attempts to construe a personal view of God which conflicts with Church dogma must be burned without pity.” Sure we know that fewer people were killed by the inquisition than we used to think, I’ve heard the number 5 million banded about in the past but it’s probably in the hundreds of thousands (lists of Catholic atrocities can be found, with citations here).  This whole anti-condom thing though shows that whilst the Catholic church doesn’t kill that many people directly they indirectly cause loss of life through their make-believe teachings, and putting a black face to those teachings will only encourage people who are galvanized by trauma and hunger to go along with their quite dreadful ideas.  Bertrand Russell said:

“Religion is based primarily upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly as the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. It is because fear is at the basis of those two things. In this world we can now begin a little to understand things, and a little to master them by help of science, which has forced its way step by step against the opposition of all the old precepts. Science can help us to get over this craven fear in which mankind has lived for so many generations. Science can teach us, and I think our own hearts can teach us, no longer to look around for imaginary supports, no longer to invent allies in the sky, but rather to look to our own efforts here below to make this world a fit place to live in, instead of the place that the churches in all these centuries have made it.”


2 thoughts on “The Big Pope Vote

    • I never saw this till recently!! thanks for your comment, my blogging performance is horrible! Hope you and your family are well! And I would too btw! Dave

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